And In A Life Like This
by Kate-Emma
Summary: Complete - The story of Theodore Nott, from weedy boy scared of his father to the owner of a successful business with a good life
1. It's Memorable

**Disclaimer: **I don't any characters in this piece.  
The song is Tegan and Sarah's The Con.

**_And In A Life Like This…_**

Chapter One:  
…It's Memorable

_I listened in,  
Yes, I'm guilty of this, you should know this.  
I broke down and wrote you back,  
Before you had a chance to.  
Forget forgotten, I am moving past this,  
Giving notice.  
I have to go,  
Yes, I know that feeling, know you're leaving._

Theodore Nott had been a weedy boy as a child. He was scared of his father and what would happen to him were he to mutter even the slightest bit of dissent about the Dark Lord and his dangerous ideals to Nott Snr. Once upon a time he had also worried about whether his father may be in danger too, if he ever spoke his true feelings, but a fight with the old tyrant had left Theo neither wanting to know or care if he lived or died.

"I'm not Saint Potter," Theo would come to repeat often, bitterness in his voice. "I don't care about people who never cared about me."

It would soon emerge that as much as son disliked father, nothing would ever rival the unnecessary and unsubstantiated hate that Theo's father had always had for him.

To Theo it had always seemed he held the boy responsible for his mother's tragic death, although he was only four at the time and the only human within the walls of the Nott Estate with his mother that fateful afternoon. His father was too ashamed to show his face at the cruel (and very Muggle) death of his wife of 10 years and the mother of his only child and heir to the vast but ill-gotten Nott wealth.

So, at age 29; beautiful, terrible and pure of blood, Amerita Nott died of cancer with only her son and her loyal house-elf by her side.

The next 7 years of Theodore's life remained as empty and loveless as he had expected. His father, it seemed, was more determined to make money than even discuss with his young son the truth and realities involving Amerita's death.

Alexander, like all wizards of his stature, had convinced himself that he, and all those he was affiliated with, were untouchable by such things – Muggle things. He truly believed his life was worth more than anyone's because his blood was pure and his heart was cold. Emotions, it seemed to Theo's father, were a hinderance rather than a help. It had made him what he was and would forever be; a loser, an egotistical jerk and a Death Eater.

So Theodore would come to hate this man. Hate him for who he was and who he wanted to be. Hate him for what he'd done to Amerita.

Theo would become as disillusioned and cruel as his father, but would not notice it until it was too late. It was at this stage in his life that he became a prime candidate for the next generation of Death Eaters upon Voldemort's return to power.

_Calm down, I'm calling you to say,  
I'm capsized, erring on the edge of safe.  
Calm down, I'm calling back to say,  
I'm home now and coming around, coming around.  
Nobody likes to,  
But I really like to cry.  
Nobody likes me,  
Maybe if I cry._

It was at age 11, sick of spending his life with only his school master and house-elf, that Theodore would get his previously denied freedom. Age 11 meant the coming of his Hogwarts letter, and not even his father could or would destroy such a perfect time.

Theo had already proven twice that he was no Squib. At age 8 he had successfully locked his school master out of the house with only a thought and a scream. Evetually Alexander had stepped in and brought an end to the mess and what Theo had thought would end with praise actually ended with Theo cleaning the bathroom floor and being denied dinner. The loyal house-eld, Knobb, who had always made it clear that he worked for Theo and Amerita alone, had snuck up with the most delicious stew a little after Alexander left for work again that night, assuring Theo that Alexander had not been treated to the same thing.

The second time had been at age 10 when, sick of Knobb doing substandard work in the cleaning of his bedroom, Alexander had pulled out a handkerchief and was intending to force it into the shaking hands of the sobbing elf. At Theodore's shocked gasp the handkerchief flew from his father's grasp and tumbled through the air for almost 30 seconds before promptly bursting into flames.

"Knobb works for me. He isn't yours to dismiss." Theodore had managed to yell at his father before Alexander gave the elf a hearty kick out the doorway and slammed the door in both their faces.

So, more than anything, the large tan envelope with a green seal was a god-send.

It not only meant a new and more magical life. It not only meant going to the place where he could be who he wanted, when he wanted. It not only meant wands, potions and books piled high with energy and answers within their pages. No, more important than anything inside the Hogwarts walls, it meant freedom.

_Spelled out your name and list the reasons.  
Faint of heart, don't call me back.  
I imagine you and I was distant, not insistent.  
I followed suit and laid out on my back,  
Imagine that.  
A million hours left to think of you and think of that._

**A/N: **Alright, so this is a 5-parter about my favourite obscure character: Theodore Nott. This is the story I've created for him from a few years of RPing him, so I'm finally pulling it together.

This is Chapter One: And A Life Like This… It's Memorable (Theo'd life before Hogwarts)  
Chapter Two: And A Life Like This… It's Hard (Theo's first 5 years at Hogwarts)  
Chapter Three: And A Life Like This… It's Broken (Theo's time under his father's controlling grasp)  
Chapter Four: And A Life Like This… It's Not Mine (The 7th year, Battle of Hogwarts and Theo's final redemption)  
Chapter Five: And A Life Like This.. It's Saved (Theo's future)

So, please, read and review!

Peace  
Kate-Emma


	2. It's Hard

**Disclaimer: **I Don't Own The Characters or The Song (No One by Cold) On This Page!

_**And In A Life Like This…**_

Chapter Two:  
…It's Hard

Theodore had rarely known himself shy. Quiet, yes. Assenting, yes. But shy? Never.

So when it came to making friends at Hogwarts, even from Day One, Theo had never imagined it could be hard. But thought and reality would turn out to be two very different things.  
He had, of course, never taken into account just how well known he was, even on sight. He could never deny that he looked like his father's skinnier twin. So, when entering Platform 9 and ¾ with Knobb, Theo was surprised to see many faces turn away in disgust at the sight of him.  
Gathering his things and bidding the small figure of Knobb a slow goodbye, Theodore boarded the train alone. It wasn't long, however, before people found him. It was in the form of a drawling blond boy and his two goons.

"Father told me he saw you. Said he was surprised you weren't with your father. But then, he's probably busy isn't he? Still, too busy for your first day at Hogwarts? Too bad. My parents are never too busy for me." He took the seat across from Theodore and pointed to a blond-haired couple who the many faces were also eyeing suspiciously. "Still, I'm sure he'll be pleased when you get sorted into Slytherin. That's where your heading I'm sure. Father says it's a disgrace to be anywhere else. I think I'd leave if they made me into a Hufflepuff!" He gave a cold laugh and then continued on with his rant, but Theodore had already zoned out on the pompous boy that would later draw breath only long enough to introduce himself as Draco Malfoy.

What Theodore would give to become anything other than a Slytherin, even the idiots inside the walls of the Hufflepuff house seemed like a nice alternative. But Theo's path in houses had been laid out for him. His parents had been Slytherins, his aunt and uncle had been Slytherins, and even his cousin Jon, now in his 5th year, was a Slytherin. So, it seemed, Theodore was destined to fit that mould as well.

_Well I can't ever really believe  
No one was sent to get me  
And I feel like I'm being erased  
No one got left here  
I'm all alone  
No one was sent to get me  
I'm all alone  
No one got left here_

Theodore's fears for the Sorting where lost the moment Draco Malfoy found someone more interesting to terrorize. It came in the form of Harry Potter, who was rumoured to be in the compartment 3 down. So Draco and goons disappeared, and didn't return. Theo, to his pleasure, was left to read for the rest of the journey, his cousin Jon, a Prefect, popping in only once to make sure he was getting along okay. He seemed genuinely disappointed when Theo mentioned that Malfoy had left and not come back before warning Theo that, whether he liked it or not, he would be wise to stay on the good side of someone like Draco Malfoy.

When it came time to leave the train Theodore's fears suddenly began to return. And, before he even realized it, he was standing with the other first year students just waiting to be Sorted.

The Sorting Hat had barely touched Malfoy's head before screaming out the name of the serpent house as if it hurt it, but others would not be Sorted so quickly. In fact, the brunette girl ahead of Theodore seemed to sit there forever before the wide brim split and announced that Noelle Moon was, in fact, a Ravenclaw at heart. Then, suddenly, the light of the Great Hall was gone as the hat slid over Theo's own face.  
"A good mind." A tiny voice whispered in Theodore's ear, and only his composure stopping Theo from looking around foolishly. "Dark spots, oh so many dark spots. Amerita… Rook? She was your mother. Oh, she was fine with a wand. The smartest witch in Slytherin history. And you have her brains I see. But your father's passion. And his anger. No preferences? Okay then, it'll have to be… SLYTHERIN!"  
The last word echoed around the Great Hall and Theo pulled the hat off to see Draco Malfoy applauding heartily. Theo, however, just felt sick.

_I can't breathe when I see  
The pictures sent without you  
I feel like i've been erased  
No one got left here  
_

A week into his stay at Hogwarts, Theo sat in the cold Slytherin commonroom reading his copy of 'Standard Book of Spells' when a loud C_rack!_ forced him to sit up straighter. There, a huddled mass in the middle of the commonroom floor was Knobb, shaking from head to toe.

"Knobb, what are…?" But he stopped as Knobb ran at him and grabbed his leg.  
It turned out that Alexander, sick of having no control over the house-elf and unable to dismiss him under Theodore's orders to Knobb, he had taken to beating the creature into submission.

Just as Theodore was about to order Knobb to go back and use some of his house-elf magic on the old tyrant, Professor Snape entered the commonroom. "Nott. Professor Dumbledore tells me you have to see him about you el…" Snape stopped, having just seen Knobb. He, clearly, hadn't believed Dumbledore when told about the new resident in the Slytherin commonroom. Once composing himself Snape managed to lead Theo and Knobb to the Headmaster's office, casting a surprised look at the aging headmaster as he closed the door behind him.

Once Snape had left, Dumbledore, looking over his half-moon spectacles, had offered Theo and Knobb a seat. Knobb eventually sat when Theo ordered him to, but not before giving Dumbledore a cold and untrusting look.

"I hear you have elf trouble." Dumbledore said softly. Knobb looked scandalized, but Theo spoke over him, explaining the situation with Knobb and his father.

"Then, maybe he should stay here." Dumbledore suggested. He cast the still glowering elf a brilliant smile. "Only while you're here of course, this way he can keep his promise to your mother and look out for you." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled and while Theo wondered how Dumbledore knew about Knobb's promise to the dying Amerita, he did not seem at all surprised that he knew. Dumbledore's genius had preceded him, even within the Nott Estate.

Theo, giving Dumbledore a small smile, turned to Knobb. "Okay. Knobb, you know the deal. Go work in the Hogwarts kitchen." The elf gave Theo only a small bow, but a much larger smile before disappearing with that same resounding _Crack_!

"Thank you Professor, Knobb will like it down there." Theodore stood, but then Dumbledore spoke again.

"I don't think that Knobb is the only one that wants to get out of the Nott Estate." He said mysteriously.

Theodore cast his eyes down upon the old man, but Dumbledore did not look up. "Anytime you need to talk to me Mr. Nott, you know what the password is."  
At this Dumbledore fell silent and Theo took it as his cue to leave. As he watched the gargoyle jump back in to place, Theo realized what the crazy old man had actually said. What he actually knew.

It seemed that he knew that Theodore no longer wanted to be a Nott.

_But I'm fine  
No one got left here  
Well I'm fine  
If it's fine then stay  
But I'm fine_


	3. It's Broken

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own Theo or any other characters mentioned in this piece.  
The song is 'It's Not Me' by 3 Doors Down

…_**And In A Life Like This**_

Chapter Three:  
…It's Broken

_Never mind the face that you put on_  
_In front of me  
__Never mind the pain you put me through  
__Coz every little thing you say  
__And every little thing you do  
__Makes me doubt all of this  
__What are you waiting for?_

The summer holidays were a time for almost every child in the world (even Muggles) to count down to. Their faces would brighten at the mere mention of the words, whether they were stringed together or not. Months before the holidays were to begin they would be discussing what they were to do, what they had planned for their holidays and where they would go.

Slytherin house held the wealthiest and cruellest of Hogwarts so over the month before the holidays Theodore had managed to hear at least three stories of long holidays in France or Spain, extended holidays in America and expensive chateau's in the Riviera. Cruises through the Mediterranean and even a round-the-world trip from a girl now in her 6th year. In fact, this wasn't confined to Slytherin house. In class Theodore had listened to the pompous Hufflepuff Justin Finch-Fletchy explaining to the fat-faced Susan Bones just how interesting Maya civilization was, and Anthony Goldstein from Ravenclaw explaining to Padma Patil how his family were planning to catch a Muggle plane to the holiday island of Thailand, much to the pureblood's enjoyment as he explained how Muggles managed to get big steel things up in the air without magic.

But as he glanced around the Great Hall on the last day of the holidays Theodore could see he definitely wasn't alone in hating the summer holidays. He could see at least 4 other people in his year that didn't like the idea of going home. And he knew why. Harry Potter, dead parents. Lisa Turpin, orphanage. Neville Longbottom, hospitalized parents (his father had told him that story a few times, admiration for Bellatrix Lestrange in his voice). And Morag MacDougal from Ravenclaw whose parents weren't great and left him alone at all times of the year. Theodore actually envied him, but it was common knowledge that Morag wasn't a fan. Theodore would give anything to have his father leave him alone, but that wasn't an option. Now in his 4th year so would begin the rant by his father about joining the ranks of young Death Eaters. This didn't appeal to Theodore at all.

_Forget about this trip that you've been on_  
_Or so it seems  
Never mind the lies that you told my tears  
Coz every little thing you said  
And every little thing you did  
Made me doubt all of this  
Is that what you're waiting for?_

His travel back on the Hogwarts Express was as uneventful as usual. Draco Malfoy, whom he had befriended in his first year under strict orders from his cousin, spent the entire trip making snide remarks about Harry Potter who had just won the Triwizard Tournament and emerged spouting that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had returned with a following of Death Eaters (Draco's father Lucius and Alexander Nott amongst them) from the final challenge.

Theodore had never once doubted that his spineless father would one day return to the side of the Dark Lord (a name which Theodore was expected to utter rather than the others that circled in the wizarding world) when he returned. Like many around him, especially those within the Slytherin house, Theo knew he would return one day. It wasn't through hope like how many spoke of his return, but with disgust. And, at least when the Dark Lord returned, Theodore imagined Alexander would be finally happy and leave behind his constant desire to terrorize Theodore into a good son. Of course, that also meant Theodore bowing to his father's wishes. It was something he didn't really want to do.

_Look what you did_  
_Is this who you wanted me to be?  
__Well it's not me_

The looming figure of his father stood watching from the platform as Theodore slowly dragged himself off the Hogwarts Express. The other students around him were waving goodbye to their friends, sharing hugs with doting parents and shouting above the noise of the train. Theodore looked everywhere but at his father, trying to see those from the Great Hall that he had attempted to find a connection with. Harry Potter stood hugging the very large figure of Mrs Weasley, the Weasley clan now common knowledge as being Harry Potter's new family. Lisa Turpin stood with Padma Patil, her twin sister Parvati and their friend from Gryffindor Lavender Brown, the airiest girl Theodore had ever met. By the look of it they were talking boys and she didn't seem too upset now about going home. He finally found Morag too, who was dragging what appeared to be both he and Terry Boot's suitcases out of the platform, confirming the idea that Morag and Terry, the Ravenclaw terrible two, would be staying together most of the holidays and conducting some kind of trouble-making device.

So, Theodore was alone. Terribly alone in the land before him where no one came to make sure he was alright, no one checked whether he had lived or died and nobody ever questioned what Alexander Nott counted as fact. No one ever would. So Theodore finally looked at his father with the hate that he had built since a young age for the man that was supposed to protect him and make all the bad things go away. He had only ever invited them inside.

But then, from behind Alexander stepped Knobb, the only creature he had ever known to smile at the sight of him, and Theodore almost felt a smile coming on too. Knobb was still here and with his house-elf magic and Theodore's determination to rid himself and the world of his father, Theodore believed genuinely that this holiday wouldn't be as bad as the last. And he walked towards his father, malice in his intent and anger in his eyes, never losing sight of his ultimate goal: to win the war on his pre-determined future.

_Look what you did_  
_Is this how you wanted it to be?  
__And this life you gave away  
__It was meant for me_


	4. It's Not Mine

**Disclaimer: **Characters by J.K Rowling, lyrics (If You Want Me) by One Less Reason

…_**And In A Life Like This**_

Chapter Four:  
…It's Not Mine

_I know it's not my place_  
_To tell you what you're doing wrong  
Sometimes I think about your face  
And there's times that I don't think of you at all_

"As my son, you will do what you are told and that means living your destiny!"

Alexander's voice thundered through the Mansion as Theodore, now 17, stood watching him blankly. The escapades of the last two years, where Theodore and Knobb spent every break destroying anything that Alexander had been doing or at least attempting to do since the return of the Dark Lord two years before, had left Theodore stronger than before. So far Theodore and Knobb had succeeded in making at least 4 of the plans Alexander had been assigned go wrong, all of which had ended in Theodore's brutal assault by his father. But the beatings and threats were worth it to watch Alexander return after a day with the Dark Lord, squirming and looking as pale as a ghost. But Theodore knew Alexander would not banish or kill his son. Draco Malfoy had already proven that year when he killed their Headmaster that the Dark Lord was asking his Death Eaters for their sons and hoping they too would sell themselves to the creature his father admired. So far many of his Slytherin 'friends' had, but Theodore wouldn't. He never would give himself up to someone like that, something that pathetic. Theodore knew strength, and strength did not come from beating a 17-year-old boy in a duel. Strength came from admitting who you could and could never be, something Alexander had never understood. And so the threats and beatings had continued.

_I know you would never say  
What I did that made you feel so small  
Spent the whole year on my face  
Now with a little help I'll stand up on my own, my own_

The year before Theodore had found his inspiration in the one person he had always admired, his cousin Jonathon Rook. His father also on the wrong side of the law, Jonathon had too been forced into following 'the Malfoy boy' into a life of darkness. Jonathon, already 18 and not tied down by the things that held Theodore back, Jonathon had left home and his old life, leaving his father Renius almost literally spewing and prepared to kill the boy if he came near him again. But Jonathon had never had any plan to return to his father's home, and so became the shining light in Theodore's life, the inspiration that would lead him to the ultimate betrayal of his father and the eventual demise of all around him that he hated and loved. It would also pave the way for Theodore's return to the ultimate battle between good and evil and his redemption in the eyes of the world around him.

But first he'd have to deal with the hate and the loss.

_If you want me  
Then you got me  
Just never leave me alone_

Alexander spent most of the holidays away from home, something which Theodore didn't mind at all. In fact, Theodore spent most of his holidays blissfully happy and free from his controlling monster of a father. It helped that Knobb had enjoyed so much his work at Hogwarts that he was constantly making Theodore the most delicious meals, and the common appearances by a new friend were a welcome surprise.

During the year before Theodore and his classmate Daphne Greengrass had become somewhat inseperable, the rumours they were a thing had continued until Daphne had threatened to break Pansy Parkinson's jaw if the rumours continued. Not because she was embaressed, she later confessed to Theodore, but because she was the rumour starter around here and not that pug dog Pansy. Theodore didn't mind, in his heart he knew he didn't need any more complications in his life, and whatever Daphne was he was happy with where they were. There was no point ruining something perfectly good in his life while everything else around him had turned to shit.

But just like everything else in Theodore's life, the reality of who he was and who he would only ever amount to be would come back to haunt him. And, on the 2nd last week of the holidays, it did when Alexander came home with anger and persistance evident in his gaze.

_So tell me you need me and I will stay  
You believe me and I will wait  
That you'd come back for me every time I fall_

"You thought you could lie and hide her from me, didn't you?"

Alexander was sitting in the den the Tuesday after his return, his voice low and ominous as he spoke and Theodore passed. At first Theodore had missed what he said, then like an echo his father voice came into his head and he understood. Alexander knew about Daphne.

"I don't know what you're talking about… as usual." Theodore played dumb.

Alexander just turned in his seat and let out a growl. "Really son? You don't know anything about your affiliations with a fellow student? Did you really believe I wouldn't find out?" It all came out in one breath, almost like Alexander was forcing it out of himself painfully.

Theodore just shrugged. "She's a Slytherin, pureblood, so what do you care?"

Alexander stood up then, no longer willing to take his son's cockiness. "You know perfectly well why I care. You have a job to do son, a person to live up to and he doesn't need you canoodling with little girls. She isn't even the child of a Death Eater!"

"It's all the bloody same isn't it? Selfishness and pathetic following?" He paused. "Daphne or not, I'm never going to follow you father, so maybe you need to get used to that."

He turned to walk away, but Alexander spoke again, sending fear down Theodore's spine. "You will follow me son, and you will lose the girl, otherwise I'll make sure she gets lost."

Theodore's throat went dry. Surely his father wouldn't go after another Slytherin? But then, when Theodore thought about it, his father's allegiences had never been with Slytherin, only with Voldemort. He himself hadn't even been a Slytherin when he was at Hogwarts, he was a Hufflepuff. So Theodore turned back to his father. "And what will you do if I do make her disappear?"

Alexander smiled softly. "I'd leave her alone of course."

His smile was like venom, and Theodore felt sick as he nodded slowly to his father and turned away. He didn't trust his father one bit, but it was safer for Daphne to be out of the picture anyway. He was sure she'd understand that.

_In your heart there's just no place  
There's no room to make a mistake  
And with one wrong turn you would never make it home_

"A welcome surprise!" Daphne smiled as she opened her door to find Theodore standing there staring at his feet. Almost instantly she picked up that something was wrong.

"Come inside?" She suggested, waving a hand nonchalantly at the living room behind her. Theodore simply shook his head though.

"I'll be quick, I'll say what I need to say and then go."

Daphne's expression softened. "What is it Theo? What's happened? Has your father done something to you, to Knobb?"

Theodore's heart broke at what he was about to say. Daphne worried so much for him, she'd worried ever since he'd told the truth about his father and his destiny. Back then she had promised she would do anything to make sure Theodore came free from his father, but Theo knew this could only ever be words. He would never be free of his father, and he didn't have the power or guts to free himself like Jonathon had. No, it seemed Theodore was destined to eventually follow in his father's footsteps and become Voldemort's slave. But he would put it off as long as he could. At least until he could no longer. And, if putting it off meant Daphne was in danger, it was time to face the truth.

"I'm going to give in to him Daphne, I have to join them."

Daphne gasped. "Theo, no, you can't, you're not one of them."

Theodore shook his head. "No Daphne, I am one of them. I was born one of them, I was sorted into a house full of them, and I'm destined to become one of them. There's no point putting it off any longer because people are just going to get hurt, people I care about. People have to go, including you and Knobb." His last sentence was a realization. Knobb was in danger too, and now feeling like a stupid member of Hermione Granger's club SPEW, Theodore feared for the House-Elf's safety.

Daphne frowned. "You don't, you can't… uh, no." He voice rose angrily.

But Theodore just turned away from her. Her voice followed him until eventually he heard the front door slam. He glanced back at her house, watching her stalk away from him, down the side and out of the back of the backyard into the forest behind. She had gone to walk it off, Theodore had guessed she might do that. She did it often. It was one of those little things that made Theodore love her.

_Tell me your heart will never change  
That you'll always feel the same  
That you'll stand beside me even if you think I'm wrong  
I was wrong_

* * *

**A/N:** Alright, i knwo this chapter was supposed to include the Battle of Hogwarts and the 7th year, but i've gone a little off plan. That will be in the next chapter and it's now a six-parter. The next part is called ..._It's Plagued_. Enjoy. 


	5. It's Plagued

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anyone in this chapter (or fic). This song is called 1981 and it's by one of my favourite Australian bands, Gyroscope. Check it out. They're like an angry FOB, with less pansyness! Lol!

…_**And In A Life Like This**_

Chapter Five:  
…It's Plagued

_Here's what I think about you and how your friends  
How your friends adore your sudden glory  
Here's what I know about you and all your trends  
And all the times we made believe a story  
_

Theodore lay back on his bed staring at the ceiling lost in the myriad of thoughts he had managed to produce in his head. His memories seemed to be playing themselves over and over again in his head, determined to plague him until he admitted he really did have no idea what he'd done with his life. Eventually Theodore relented.

"FINE! YOU WIN!" He yelled at no one, turning over and burying his head under his pillow.

The new school year was meant to start the next day but Theodore had nothing prepared for going back. He had decided, after the previous week's revelations and eventual dismissal of Knobb, Theodore wouldn't be going back to do his NEWT's this year as he had originally planned but instead he'd be joining his father and the crew of Death Eaters that waited for him. Alexander had been pleased when he'd first told him that he'd been beaten. So pleased, it seemed, that he'd left Theodore alone all afternoon without any mention of when he was coming home. So, free from Alexander's talks about his wonderful future, Theodore had spent all day alone in his room, free to be destroyed by his own memories.

And then something downstairs broke.

Theodore sat up straight in bed. His father wouldn't break something in a fully-lit house, even in the darkness he wouldn't without growling and fixing it straightaway. But Theodore heard no spell and suddenly assumed the worst. There was a Death Eater in his home come for him.

Grabbing his wand from his bedside table and opened the bedroom door slowly. The hallway was empty and for a moment Theodore thought he'd imagined it. Then a shadow fell into his sight and Theodore raised his wand, thinking of the first spell that came to his head. To his disgrace, but the intruder's relief, it was the Jelly-Legs spell Theodore had learnt in his first year. And as the intruder fell to the floor in fits of both laughter and pain, Theodore was thankful he'd thought of it.

"Jon?" Theodore asked, poking the intruder with his foot till he rolled over. It was, indeed, Theodore's cousin.

"Wish to undo this baby spell Theo? If you know it, I believe I learnt it in my second year." Jon joked, making faces at Theodore.

Theodore undid the spell and Jon stood, dusting off his legs uncertainly. "Wow, it's been a while since I got one of those. I believe they've moved on to the Bat-Bogey Hex now."

Theo frowned. "Who has?"

Jon grinned. "The entire population of Hogwarts 1st graders."

Theo sighed. "School starts again tomorrow, not that it matters much to me."

Jon frowned. "Yes, it does, because you're going back. You aren't going to be scared out of getting a proper education just because You-Know-Who feels like having a party with his idiot followers."

Theo glanced at his cousin. He hadn't called Voldemort the Dark Lord like he was expected, and Theo respected that. "Where have you been Jon?" He finally asked.

Jon smiled. "Another story for a nicer day. Now, grab your trunk and get your ass down here pronto. Little birdy tells me Alexander will be back here in half an hour and I want us out of here by then."

Theodore frowned. "He's going to kill me if I go back, you must know that."

Jon pointed at himself. "Me? No, no idea." He smiled. "You know you wish you were me."

Theo nodded. "Yeah, maybe just a bit. I'll be right back."

It took Theodore ten minutes to pack his clothes and other essential belongings and magic them downstairs. Having been an adult in the magical world for almost 2 months, Theodore now did everything by magic, and was surprised when he came downstairs to find Jon attempting to piece the vase he'd broken back together without it. Theodore fixed the vase with a quick flick of his wand and then stared at Jon.

"You've lost it?" He asked.

Jon laughed. "You never lose it Theo, you just lose a wand and can't buy another without getting spotted wand shopping in Diagon Alley by your idiot father's cronies." He grinned. "Cry me a river. C'mon, let's go."

He pulled a small piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Theodore. "You go here and I'll join you later."

Theodore frowned at the name. "What the heck is the WFABB?"

"Your saviours. Now, let's go."

_Here's what I think about making face  
Without a grain of doubt it's all I think about, it's all in my mind  
It's best I make a sound before I hit the ground  
_

After spending a day with the WFABB, a group that turned out to be a bunch of ex-Slytherins who had turned against their own kind and wanted to fight Voldemort, Theodore found himself again at Platform 9 ¾ waiting for the Hogwarts Express with the throng of new students. There were, of course, many of his own missing. Draco Malfoy was gone, his goons Crabbe and Goyle wandering the platform no longer as menacing as many thought they were. And of course Harry Potter and his two friends weren't there. There were many others missing too, including Hufflepuff Hannah Abbott who had left the year before, and those faces which he couldn't put a name too like the dark Gryffindor boy and the red-headed Ravenclaw girl. All were gone and Theodore knew why. Voldemort.

"Ready to go back?" Jon asked, startling Theodore. He had forgotten his cousin was there with him. He gave him a wry smile and glanced back at the train. "Miss it you know, even History of Magic." Jon chuckled. "Never thought I'd miss old Binnsy's lectures."

Theodore glanced at Jonathon. "I'm not a little kid you know, you can go now."

Jon shook his head. "Not until you're safely on that train little cousin." He shrugged. "It's part of the requirements. It's not that I don't trust you want to get away from your father, it's just that, well, you're a bit of a girl sometimes."

The Hogwarts Express pulled up before Theodore could speak and so he just stared at his cousin over the cheers of the younger students. "Fine. I'm getting on now." He and Jon pushed their way past some smaller students and Jon stood, hands in his pockets, watching Theodore as he got on the train and, to Theodore's surprise, he was soon happy he had been forced into it. For some reason the train, like everything about Hogwarts, was re-assuring. So Theodore grabbed his trunk and started for the back of the train, to the nicest and emptiest compartment he could find. His plans though were waylaid when he spotted Daphne and some other Slytherin girls in a compartment half-way down the train. He caught her eye and was saddened to see her turn away angrily. Still, Theodore thought happily, she was okay and that was what mattered now.

He eventually found a good compartment and sat down by the window, staring out into the crowd. He spotted Jon, gave him a wave, and then continued scanning the crowd. His smile fell and his gaze stopped when his eyes fell on a figure standing at the big. It was Alexander, and he was watching Theodore as always.

And Theo knew then that no matter where he was, Alexander would always be around to plague him.

_Run away from it all  
It's what I think about, it's what I know about, it's what I care about  
_

The school season went quickly for Theodore, and soon it was Christmas. This Christmas did actually seem slightly better than the last, Theodore having not heard from his father the entire school term and with him set to go stay with many members of the WFABB and his cousin throughout Christmas he almost enjoyed the thought.

Before he could head off though, he knew there was one last person he had to see.

Well, the one person who was still on speaking terms with him.

Through channels and talk on the town, Theodore had found an old friend was still in the castle and the day before he was meant to go home for Christmas, Theodore headed down to the kitchens to meet an old friend.

Knobb was working when the door opened and Theodore stepped into the little area. Ignoring offers of food and drink, Theo called out to his old. At first Knobb didn't turn but then, pushed by a fellow elf, he eventually looked at Theodore.

"You're still alive Master Nott?" The little creature asked.

Theodore smiled. "As are you Knobb. You came back to Hogwarts, even now Dumbledore has gone?"

Knobb nodded. "Professor Snape very good to me, said Knobb had to stay."

Theodore smiled. "I'm glad Knobb. Very glad. And I had wondered why the food was suddenly so good."

Knobb finally smiled back. "Thank you Master Nott, that means a lot to Knobb."

They were quiet for a minute, Theodore finally accepting a Pumpkin Pastie from a nearby elf. "I miss you Knobb." He finally admitted.

Knobb broke into a wide grin, tears in his eyes. "Knobb misses you too Master Nott."

_Pain won't go away even when the drugs say, I won't regret  
Time heals so I'm told, I could never be sold, I don't forget  
_

Jonathon met Theodore at Platform 9 ¾, as Theo had expected, but his expression was grim and the smile on Theo's face at the sight of his cousin was soon lost. He hurried off the train to find out what had happened.

"Jon? What is it?" He muttered, breathlessly, as he reached his cousin.

Jon said nothing, just nodded towards the train as the other students started to get off. "I'll tell you when we get home." He finally said, grabbing one of Theodore's bags.

Eventually, a long way considering they were Apparating, Theodore and Jon were finally back at the WFABB headquarters where things were unusually silent. The old mansion outside Kent that they used to hide in was usually a bustle of activity, PotterWatch blaring over the radio with young children gathered around it. Today there was no one in the main rooms and even the dining room was sparse. After dumping his bags, Theo turned to Jon expectedly, waiting for what he believed was to come. And his suspicions were proven correct.

"Your father is dead. His body has been found, dumped, in Oxford."

Theo sat down on one of his bags. "How do you know? Who told you?"

Jon pointed to the radio on the wall. "PotterWatch. There's a Death Eater count going on, they're attributing it to Potter but I think we all know better."

Theodore nodded. "You-Know-Who did it." He nodded slowly. "I'm not surprised. He was already on unstable ground."

Jon frowned. "What did he do to make You-Know-Who do this to one of his own?"

Theo shrugged. "If I knew that I'd be smarter than Potter. My only guess is that he found out that I went back to Hogwarts still loyal to it and not him. That and Alexander's already tarnished reputation. He fought Potter is the Department of Mysteries two years ago and disobeyed You-Know-Who's orders to leave your father and keep fighting. He wasn't there when Dumbledore came, he had left the place with Renius. You-Know-Who thought that was the ultimate betrayal."

Jon looked surprised. "Alexander told you this?"

Theodore smiled sadly. "Of course he didn't, he never told me anything. I overheard him talking about it to Renius, how he'd betrayed the Dark Lord for him and that it was essential Renius forced you into Death Eatership, much like he was forcing me."

Jon nodded. "I should've guessed that. My father is a weed. Was a weed."

Theo glanced up at him. "Renius too?"

Jon grinned. "Looks like we're both free cousin."

And Theodore smiled back. Yes, he finally was.

_And if I should start to wonder, pull me out from the rock I'm under  
Here's what I think about vacant space  
Without a grain of doubt it's all I think about, it's all in my mind  
I better hit the town before the rain comes down  
_

Theodore stared at the ceiling, finally serene and feeling like every wish he'd ever had was coming at once. Of course, to some extent it was. The death of his father now meant more than Nott Estate becoming his own. It meant freedom from everything that had tied him down before. He was free to his father's controlling gaze, free to see whoever he wanted without fear of getting them in trouble, and free to take back Knobb, his one true friend in all this mess. He was finally able to be who he wanted in the future, study what he wanted and believe who he wanted. It was like being born again.

It also meant he could grieve. For his mother. Ever since his mother's death Theodore had been unable to visit her gave or even shed a tear for her when Alexander was around. Now he could go see her every day. The one human that had truly loved him without expectations. He'd never had that before.

But the peace of the morning would soon be broken by a screech from downstairs. It sounded like someone had fainted then as a thud echoed through the loose floorboards of the old estate. Tossing back his covers and pulling on his cloak, Theodore rushed downstairs.

Jon stood at the bottom of the stairs, and he was calming down a small collection of 6-10 year-olds who were gathering around him. Half of them appeared to be crying. Near where the group kept the radio, a small collection of people were gathering around a woman who really had fainted. It was Mrs Clandestone, a kindly woman considering her knowledge of the Dark Arts was second only to You-Know-Who or Severus Snape.

Jon spotted Theodore then and turned to him. "There's been another attack by You-Know-Who." He paused. "It was on a Slytherin house."

Theodore froze. "Who is it?"

Jon shook his head. "Get dressed quickly. Your coming with me. And get your wand. They might still be there." He stopped then, finally taking his eyes off Theodore, and passed the children. They, in turn, looked up at Theo who, now cold under all these glances, turned and strode back upstairs.

_Run away from it all  
Far away from it all  
Pain won't go away even if the drugs stay, I don't regret  
Time heals so I'm told, I could never be sold, I won't forget.  
I won't forget.  
I don't forget.  
_

Jonathon and Theodore appeared outside the house he knew well. The curtains were drawn and the front door was bolted shut.

"The Greengrass house?" He glanced at Jon. "All of them?"

Jonathon nodded. "And they weren't the only ones."

But Theodore didn't care about any of the others. Alexander, his last dying wish was fulfilled, and he'd made Theodore's life truly unlivable. Daphne was dead.

He dropped to his knees in unspeakable pain.


	6. It's Saved

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own Theodore, Jonathon or any other characters mentioned in this piece. The song is 'It's Alright, Wrong' by It Is Well (paraphrased by me so words may be wrong! Lol. Check em out on Facebook. They're awesome!)

…_**And In A Life Like This**_

Chapter Six:  
…It's Saved

_So many times we say it's okay  
__We've turned off the lights  
__Gone on with the days _

Jonathon and Theodore stood on Platform 9 ¾. 

"A big year ahead cousin." Jon finally muttered, soft and tired like his days of dashing after Voldemort were nearing an end.

Theodore knew from Jon's voice that he wasn't talking about the NEWT's. "He's coming isn't he Jon?"

Jon looked at Theodore. "Theo, he's always coming." He paused. "But, yes, the war is coming to Hogwarts. You need to be ready for it. And you need to stay and fight, no matter what happens. Trust me."

Theodore nodded. "I do. I will." The train pulled up then and Theo walked towards it. Jon grabbed his arm and Theo glanced back at him.

"Good luck." Jon muttered before letting him go and turning away. Theo watched him leave the platform, unsure whether he'd see his cousin again.

_And no one has noticed I've been able to talk  
__We're scared to know who we should be_

The Great Hall was silent and Theodore knew why. He hadn't been back at Hogwarts for long now and already it was beginning. Unlike those around him Theodore hadn't been surprised when he'd heard Voldemort's voice echoing over the grounds of Hogwarts. Beside him a 5th year girl glanced at her friend, a glint of malice in her eye and whispered what Theo knew too.

"It's starting."

The professors acted quickly, the students gathered into groups as the voice continued. Names so familiar to Theodore and the others spewed from his mouth and as they did the Great Hall doors opened to what the students recognized as safety. Dumbledore's Army, infamous now in many circles, walked into the room, lead by the one and only Harry Potter. And for a moment Theo admired him. Then it was gone as the reality set in. Death and war had come to Hogwarts.

Panic had started to set in in the Great Hall, Slytherins amongst them frightened or overjoyed. They were all ushered out of the Great Hall and away to where the DA said they could find safety, but Theodore fell free of this group. He was staying, for whatever reason, just as Jon had said he should. Whether it was to fight or die, Theo didn't know. He would leave that to chance.

And then, out of nowhere, the Death Eaters and others found their way into the school. And, amongst them, were the WFABB, Jonathon Rook leading them into the mess.

_Rose is the shade we glazed in our eyes  
__And life is too long when you're living to die  
__And some will still smile and sing like we do  
__And wish for their martyrdom too_

"Bloody hell. It's pandemonium in here." Jon managed to mutter to Theodore as he passed, before dashing off in search of a Death Eater. Theodore stood rooted to his spot outside the Great Hall double doors. Where his cousin had come from Theodore may never know, but now he was dashing headlong into battle and leaving Theodore there to face the onslaught of Death Eaters that rushed around the place. So far none had noticed him, but he knew that wouldn't last long, so he pulled out his wand and raised it before him, unsure exactly what he needed to do.

A scream sounded from above him and a small Gryffindor girl, looking no older than 12, fell down the stairs and out onto the floor of the Entrance Hall. Theodore froze, watching the Death Eater who had attacked her come after her. Theodore's blood boiled. She was nothing more than a child, no threat to the Death Eater at all. And, as he strode into Theodore's line of sight, Theodore reacted.

"STUPIFY!" He yelled. The Death Eater froze and fell back onto the stairs, a resounding clunk echoing around the hall and causing the 12-year-old to look up. She noticed Theodore and smiled, a genuine smile, before rushing back into battle. Theo, still shocked at what he'd just done, just stood there. He'd just saved a Gryffindor's life. What kind of Slytherin was he?

_But it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright  
__And don't say that it's true_

A blast behind him shocked him back into the reality, and Theodore awoke from his stupor to find himself looking up at one of the Death Eaters as he advanced on Theodore. Raising his wand in one powerful movement, Theodore brought down on the unsuspecting Death Eater a piece of Dark magic that his father had taught him. The Death Eater crumpled, not dead but unconscious for now, and Theodore stepped over him. In his mind he felt like he'd just beaten his father in a duel using his own magic, although Theodore knew his father was dead. It didn't matter anymore who these people under the masks were. Sure he had basically been raised by them, taunted by them and maybe even protected from harm by them. They were the enemy now, and maybe they always had been. And the enemy to Hogwarts, the one place he'd always felt safe. He wouldn't let them take away what he had left. The little he had left. And, a new-found spring in his step, Theodore ran back into battle.

_When it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright  
__And everyone tried to be you_

Jonathon and Theodore sat amongst the crowd of students. Jon's arm was broken and Theodore was nursing a nasty flesh wound, but considering the problems of those around them they didn't complain. They couldn't complain anyway. They had achieved what they had set out to achieve and nothing more needed to be done.

Around them the students gathered, no longer in house groups but in groups of new friends, walking wounded and tributes to the dead. Amongst these dead were Slytherins, although few in their number, and Theodore wondered what would happen to Hogwarts now. He couldn't picture the existence he had known at school, hating everyone except your own and doing your best to make life miserable for them. In fact, Theo wondered if the house system would ever have that kind of rivalry again. He was sure it wouldn't, at least not for a long time now. For as long as people could still remember the war as he knew it would now become known, people would remember the students of all four houses joined together as one force against pure evil. For the death of the Slytherins around him and those that couldn't even make it today, had proven that no one was safe from a man with no desire but power.

Theodore's eyes followed Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger as they left the room and he guessed that they were going to meet Harry Potter, wherever he was. And suddenly Theo knew that the rivalry between his year of Slytherins and Harry Potter's Gryffindors was gone. He glanced at his robes and tore off the Slytherin emblem, leaving him only with the Hogwarts one. Then he stood, hoping to help someone who was still injured.

And he hoped that wherever she was, Daphne would appreciate that.

_Why do you breathe when you don't want to live?  
__Cos your life had a purpose and you knew that it did  
__So why lie to yourself and stay numb to the truth,  
__That you're waiting on something and that something is you?_

Theodore looked out from behind a pile of wobbling boxes as the bell on the front door tinkled it's merry tune. Righting the boxes with a flick of his wand, Theodore stepped off the stepladder he'd been using and headed to the front counter to find a small red-haired girl glancing around at the towering boxes about her. Theodore smiled at the girl, used to those her age at this time of the year.

"Welcome to Nott and Rook Wands. You ready for your first wand?" Theodore suggested.

The girl looked at him and gave him a small smile before nodding timidly. Theodore clicked his fingers and a small tape measure appeared from behind the counter and started measuring the girl who just stood there stunned as Theodore pointed his own wand at the piles of boxes and bought them down into a neat pile on the counter. After a minute the tape measure fell to the ground and the girl looked relieved. She glanced back at the door and Theodore followed her eyes, finally seeing the woman standing beyond the entrance. He gave her a smile and waved her in. She declined and stepped back out into the street. Theodore then cast his eyes back at the girl and handed her the first wand in the box. After eight goes the wand was discovered amongst the boxes, a wand that seemed strangely similar to Theodore. The girl paid for it and skipped outside happily, but something was bugging Theodore and he followed them out into the street.

"Ma'am." He called and the woman turned. She frowned and walked back towards him.

"Is there something wrong Mister Nott?" She asked, giving him an all-to-familiar smile. It was then that Theodore recognized her. His jaw dropped.

"Daphne?" He asked. "But you're dead."

The woman gave him a knowing smile. "I don't know any Daphne… Theo." And with that she grabbed her daughter's hand and walked away. Theodore just turned and went back inside with a smile. It seemed Daphne did approve of his new life after all.

_When it's all wrong, when it's alright wrong  
__And it's alright wrong  
__And nothing's alright when you won't even say that you're wrong_

* * *

**A/N: **The end of the line people. That is Theodore Nott's story. I plan to do a few of these, with Neville already up. My next piece will be about Lavender Brown and her life at Hogwarts, including Divination, Ron Weasley and what could be next with Seamus Finnigan. It's called 'And It Takes A Little Magic...'. Coming soon. 


End file.
